Have More Time To Do The Things You Love
“Free time is an act of rebellion”
Many of us have a familiar story when it comes to time. We are born, have a few years of freedom whilst we are toddlers before we enter a school system and are programmed into society’s schedule which may look a little like this: School 9am-3.30pm, collage/university (some skip this part), jobs (mostly 5 days a week, on average 8 hrs a day, some much more), before we retire and have ‘earned’ the right to do the things we love to do, in the time we want to do them.
In this fast paced society we are increasingly being swept along into being and doing more-forsaking our own natural rhythms and flow.
The benefits of progress
Modern lighting means we can work beyond the natural daylight hours. Mobile phones and laptops mean we can always be ‘switched on’, and, with the internet, we can speak to people across the world from our screens. All these things are huge leaps forward for humans and have made life easier in many ways. However, if we let them overtake our natural rhythms and ‘control’ us, it will be at our detriment.
What happens when we don’t respect balance?
According to The Guardian “Half a million people in the UK suffer from work-related stress” In recent years the World Health Organisation has officially recognised burnout as an occupational phenomenon, describing it as a "syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed".
It seems that burn-out has become a common thing. Psychology today says;
“Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress. Though it’s most often caused by problems at work, it can also appear in other areas of life. Burnout is not simply a result of working long hours or juggling too many tasks, though those both play a role. The cynicism, depression, and lethargy that are characteristic of burnout most often occur when a person is not in control of how a job is carried out, at work or at home, or is asked to complete tasks that conflict with their sense of self.”
Do external forces control you?
When we simply go along with what we are taught and told to do, it can be at the detriment of our own wellbeing. An external force we are perhaps unaware of timetables us, rather than us listening to our own internal wisdom. The health (or lack of it) in society proves this. There is more illness and death from stress related conditions such as heart attacks, strokes and cancer than ever before. Something is out of balance!
Time is not money. Time is simply time
Some say, “Time is money’ as a motivator for people to work more. However, time is simply time…and without getting into mind bending conversations, time is also fluid. A quick example: time can move fast or slow. The saying, “time flies when you are having fun” is an example of how this works. I suppose it may be more accurate to say “how we experience time is fluid”.
When we stop clock-watching and tune into our own internal wisdom, we begin to understand how we tick. We learn when we work best, when our energy dips and when we are at out most productive etc.
It may be that we learn best in the mornings, or are more productive between the hours of 7-11pm?
Working for yourself gives you the freedom to set your own schedule-one that is in tune with your rhythms and flow. But at times, breaking the mould can be challenging, as the collective ‘time keeper’ keeps calling you to see where you are.
I’m a lover and advocate of slow time
I hate the fake belief and associated feeling of not having enough time. I find the adrenaline rush that comes with stress (and the low after it) very uncomfortable. I thrive best when I can expand and contract at my own pace. I feel peaceful when I have a sense of spaciousness around me and I don’t feel someone is breathing down my neck!
In her book Pure Bliss, Jill Edwards calls it ‘soft time’. She says that soft time is “living in the moment, feeling happy and carefree. It’s a world of soft focus and pale hues with no jarring edges.” She explains that there are passive and active elements within soft time that move in and out of beingness and doingness. She calls the active state, ‘flow time’ and it’s where the ‘real magic happens’
“When you are in flow time everything seems to be easy and effortless…synchronicities are common place
and invisible hands seem to open every door.”
Allowing ourselves to live on our own time is a journey
Living intune with our own rhythm is an ongoing journey of pealing back the layers and increasing trust in ourselves. For me, it is challenging at times. My confidence and nerves shake and the harmful echos of the imposter syndrome get louder saying things like “you’re not a ‘real’ professional” “people won’t respect you if you don’t work 5 days a week.” However, this is simply not true. It is true that some people may think these things about me, but it still doesn’t make it ‘True’.
When we are tuned into our own wisdom and are clear about what is best for us, then it get increasingly harder to accept an external pressure to conform, especially when we know it is detrimental to our health and wellbeing.
You don’t have to be available all of the time
You don’t have to be available all of the time, I know…a novel thought huh? But it’s true, we don’t, AND, we can still be professional! Wooahh, imagine that? I used to think I had to be available for my clients, family and friends at all times. I would keep myself 'switched on’ so that I could jump when they ‘needed’ me. I’ve stopped doing this now (thank goodness). I have set my working days to Monday-Wednesday and I’ve added a ps to my email signature to let people know.
Self care is caring for others too
Occasionally, when necessary (and when I want to), I will stray from this, because after all, it’s freedom we are moving toward, not more rigid rules. However, as a general rule Monday - Wednesday is my dedicated time to support clients. By putting my own face mask on first, I make sure I am happy and healthy, in flow and energised, and therefore at my best when I am working,
By walking my talk, I also hope to stop adding to the false belief that we have to work 5 or even 7 days a week to be successful. Who made that idea up anyway?
How do you find a flow that is right for you?
You are wonderfully unique and finding a rhythm that works for you is a process of listening, observing and questioning yourself. Are you doing things because you feel you should or have to? Have you set yourself a schedule based on an external timetable imposed on you many years ago?
Breaking free and from a collective belief system takes gentle, loving self-awareness, with a good dollop of “I’m doing what’s best for me now.”
Below, I’ve put together some tips to help.
Tips for living and working more consciously
Breathing-we all know that breathing is important 😂 and hopefully we are all doing it automatically. But how we breathe makes all the difference. I recommend James Nestor’s book ‘Breathe’ his website has lots of great info.
Spaciousness-create space in your day even if you have tons to do. It may seem counter intuitive, but if you have a full-on schedule, start your day with a leisurely walk and take a long lunch break. By doing this you are reducing the stress signals to your body so that you aren’t in panic mode. Working in panic mode actually reduces productivity. The following Zen proverb explains “You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day – unless you’re too busy; then you should sit for an hour.”
Nature-let nature be your teacher and healer. Go outside as much as possible. Take a stroll and be present with the tress and plants. Their energy is so healing when we allow ourselves the time to truly Be with them. Watch the clouds for 5 minutes, listen to the wind, watch the rain and remember there is so much more to life than we percieve.
Journaling-for me writing things down helps me to understand better. It stops thoughts circling my mind and the internal chatter. Journaling helps me to re-centre when i’ve gone off balance. If you shudder at the thought of journaling, I suggest journaling about it, even if it’s simply one word. This article from positive psychology explains more.
Trust-trusting yourself isn’t talked about very much but I believe that deep self trust is so important to well being. Not trust on a superficial level, deeper than that. An implicit trust in yourself. Do you trust your decisions and choices? Do you trust your body? Do you trust your spirit? That kind of level of trust. It’s a big one to end with but have a think about it and comment below 👇 if you have something you feel moved to share.
